The Emily Post Institute Etiquette Style
Addressing a Woman
Maiden name
Ms. Jane Johnson
Miss Jane Johnson*
*usually 'Miss' is for girls under 18
Married, keeping maiden name
Ms. Jane Johnson
Married, uses husband's name socially
Mrs. John Kelly
Mrs. Jane Kelly*
*Nowadays this is acceptable
Ms. Jane Kelly
Separated, not divorced
Mrs. John Kelly
Mrs. Jane Kelly
Ms. Jane Kelly
Divorced
Mrs. Jane Kelly
Ms. Jane Kelly
Ms. Jane Johnson (maiden name)
Widowed
Mrs. John Kelly*
*If you don't know the widow's preference, this is the traditional and preferred form
Mrs. Jane Kelly
Ms. Jane Kelly
Addressing a Couple
Married, she uses her husband's name socially
Mr. and Mrs. John Kelly
NOTE: Traditionally, a man's name preceded a woman's on an envelope adddress, and his first and surname were not separated (Jane and John Kelly). Nowadays, the order of the names—whether his name or hers comes first—does not matter and either way is acceptable. The exception is when one member of the couple 'outranks' the other—the one with the higher rank is always listed first.
Married, she prefers Ms.
Mr. John Kelly and Ms. Jane Kelly
Ms. Jane Kelly and Mr. John Kelly
*Do not link Ms. to the husband's name:
Mr. and Ms.John Kelly is incorrect
Married, informal address
Jane and John Kelly
John and Jane Kelly
Married, she uses maiden name
Mr. John Kelly and Ms. Jane Johnson
Ms. Jane Johnson and Mr. John Kelly
If you can't fit the names on one line:
Mr. John Kelly
and Ms. Jane Johnson
*Note the indent, either name may be used first
Unmarried, living together
Mr. John Kelly
Ms. Jane Johnson
Note: Use two lines, do not indent and do not link the names with 'and'. Either name may be used first.
A woman who outranks her husband: elected office, military rank
The Honorable Jane Kelly and Mr. John Kelly
If you can't fit both names on one line (note indent):
The Honorable Jane Kelly
and Mr. John Kelly
A woman who outranks her husband: professional or educational degree
Dr. Jane Kelly and Mr. John Kelly
Both are doctors (PhD or medical) and use the same last name
The Doctors Kelly (omit first names)
Drs. Jane and John Kelly / Drs. John and Jane Kelly
Dr. John Kelly and Dr. Jane Kelly / Dr. Jane Kelly and Dr. John Kelly
Both are doctors (PhD or medical), she uses her maiden name
Dr. Jane Johnson and Dr. John Kelly
Dr. John Kelly and Dr. Jane Johnson